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Why do parents often become a burden to their sons?

by Vijay Garg
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If we ask someone how it feels to take care of their parents, one will say that they are very happy about it, it is also their responsibility and my parents took care of me as a child.
However, according to a survey by HelpPage India, an organization working for the elderly, 29 per cent of people find it difficult to take care of the elderly at home.  While 15 per cent find it too much of a burden.
These are the generation of people stuck in responsibilities, called the sandwich generation
According to a 2018 survey by HelpPage India, about 25 per cent of the elderly believed that they were being mistreated at home.
There is an aspect associated with the problems of the elderly, the sandwich generation.
What is Sandwich Generation?
The sandwich generation consists of people in their 30s and 50s who take care of their children and parents at the same time.
They try to strike a balance between employment, children, and parental responsibilities.  Sometimes they succeed in these endeavors and sometimes they feel trapped.
There is a common cause of conflict between parents and children, lack of time, lack of money and generation gap.
Statistics show that 62% of sons, 26% of daughters-in-law and 23% of daughters consider the elderly as an economic burden.  Only 11% of homeless seniors earn and are able to help.  On an average, a family spends Rs 4,125 per month.
In terms of time, 42.5% of people leave their elders alone at home and 56% leave them with the help of a domestic helper.  Sometimes the two don’t even have a good conversation.  Office, children, seniors and housework share time.
All of these factors together create stress and create tension in the home.  According to statistics, 25.7% of people feel angry and irritable about the elders in their household.
These people face generational gaps with both children and parents.  They also have to coordinate with the children.
At the same time, the burden of various responsibilities hangs over their shoulders, which leads to roughness in their nature.
However, mistreatment of the elderly cannot be justified under any circumstances.  However, if the life of their caregivers becomes a little easier, then the life of the elderly will also become a little easier.
What could be the solution?
Matthew Cherian, CEO of HelpAge India, says, “Parents prefer to be with their children despite the abuse at home.  Therefore, it is important to reduce the problems between them and their children.  We need to understand the problems of the elderly as well as the challenges of children.  That requires work on a number of fronts. “
For example, if the health facilities are good, the treatment of the elderly will be easier.  If the office has a parent leave facility, it will be convenient to take leave.  If the financial situation at home is good then there will be no problem of money.
The survey mentions some measures based on caregivers and how the government can help.  Health problems can be reduced by subsidizing medicines, improving health facilities, building government-aided old age homes, creating health cards, and providing medical insurance policies.
Mother-in-law like friends
In addition, coordination and cooperation can be established.  Both sides need to understand each other.  “If there is no coincidence at home, there can be a sandwich situation. However, my mother-in-law has given me so much support that all I can do is help her.”
A woman is living with her children, husband and mother-in-law.  They have to take care of the family from two sides.
Sometimes there is the problem of generation difference.  What the children like, the mother-in-law does not like.  Their point of view is somewhat different.  Sometimes children and adults have to move from place to place.  But, both act as a bridge.  They have to explain to both.
Similarly, the mother-in-law does not consider her inferior to her daughter.  The mother-in-law says, “If we put all the responsibility on the children, their burden will increase. So I do whatever I can at home. We live like friends. Who did more, who did less,  It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to sit still. Yes, if the parents are not in a position to help, they must be taken care of. “
Similarly, Tamanna Singh, who lives with her children and in-laws, says that when a person grows old, he becomes like a child.  So many children have to be taken care of in the house.  Our pressure must also be understood.

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