Parental Pressures: Shaping Futures or Imposing Choices?

By – Sucheta Khumukcham
In many homes across Manipur, childhood is shaped more by comparison and competition than by curiosity and learning. Many parents push their children to study more, score higher, and outperform others, often with the single aim of clearing exams like NEET or JEE. This constant pressure turns learning into a race, without asking the most important question: Is this what the child truly wants?
The truth is, not every child is meant to be a doctor or an engineer. Each child has their own interests, skills, and strengths. Forcing a child into a career chosen by parents instead of by passion often results in stress, burnout, and a loss of confidence. Some bright young people even end up believing they are failures simply because they could not fit into a mold that was never meant for them.
Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” This quote highlights the issue of mismatched eQxpectations. When children are judged mainly by marks or exam results, we risk overlooking their true abilities and making them feel inadequate, even though they may have great potential in other areas.
The culture of constant comparison makes matters worse. Quite a number of parents tend to measure success by marks, ranks, or prizes. This robs children of the joy of learning, turning curiosity into fear and creativity into conformity. Instead of discovering their own strengths, many children grow up carrying the weight of dreams that are not their own.
The National Education Policy (NEP) 2020 offers a new way of thinking. It recognizes that every child has unique talents which must be nurtured, rather than forcing all children into the same career path. The policy encourages multidisciplinary learning, skill development, and exposure to vocational opportunities. This opens doors for students to explore diverse options, whether in science, arts, humanities, sports, or entrepreneurship.
NEP also emphasizes holistic growth, including soft skills such as communication, problem-solving, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. A child who feels confident and supported by parents and teachers is far more likely to succeed in whichever field they choose.
Parents, too, need to rethink their role. Instead of pushing children along a rigid path, they can guide them to explore, experiment, and discover what they enjoy. Appreciating small achievements, encouraging hobbies, and respecting a child’s pace of learning help build confidence and resilience. True success is not about chasing a few so-called “prestigious” careers; it is about living a life that matches one’s own strengths and passions.
As a society, a considerable number of us still hold the belief that only doctors, engineers, or civil servants define success. But in truth, a teacher who inspires, an artist who creates, a sportsperson who excels, or an entrepreneur who builds opportunities is equally valuable. When children are freed from comparison and forced ambitions, they can dream their own dreams, and in doing so, we prepare them not just for examinations but for life itself.
(The author is Zonal Education Officer, Zone II, Imphal East)