By: Heisnam Lakeshwar Singh
Head( Academic & Admin), JCRE Global College Babupara Imphal
Everybody has their own love story, and everybody thinks his or her love story is the best story. It may be infatuation or may be true also. Even the guy who is never into the relationship also has his own love story, the one-sided love story. Though love is innate, we still learn how to love from stories and movies. Every love story movie and story we know is famous because of true love, which normally very difficult to find in real life, though everybody wishes to find someone who loves him/her truly. This is the trick every good marketer plays, playing with the thing that people like the most but that cannot be achieved so easily. The scarcity actually adds the value of the product that increases the price, otherwise, oxygen would be the most expensive thing, and gold would not have value. True love is also like this, but marketing is required to inspire the people and realizing them it is needed. Therefore romantic novels and movies are always hit. And it is also true that the love story without difficulty part doesn’t sell. People actually love challenges, which are not expressed and think of it as an obstacle, but it is a kind of negative pole of the battery without it the battery is not complete.
Korean love stories are always good, many people like it when we showed to our south Indian friends and they also liked it. The first Korean love story I saw was “The Classic”, and at that time I realized, a movie without any villain also can be a super movie. Korean, Bollywood and Hollywood love stories have some differences. The differences are mostly in the personality type of the guy and girl. As we have been seeing in Bollywood, it is the guy who followed after the girl most of the time and at the initial stage the girls usually do not accept the love and hero never gives up, and finally, girl accepts after hearing the song sung by the hero. And in Bollywood and Indian movies heroin is always the most beautiful woman in the movie, and she is always prettier than her friends. Every Bollywood hero knows dancing and singing, also very brave. The common attribute every Bollywood lover hero has is – they are extroverts, never give up attitude, very smart, good dancer and singer, have good leadership skill, six-packs (21st-century heroes), the best guy in the film, top in everything – in race, sport, the education I mean he is the all-rounder and master of all tracks. And also we can see the heroin is impressed with the hero’s good nature i.e. helping nature to poor or needy people, not to the money he has and the luxury car he drives.
In Korean movies, in few I have seen, I found the guys are less expressive than the girls. Most of the time, it is the girl who always runs after him and the boy would be kind of shy type, even though he loves the girl very much he hardly shows his love. Girls are very smart, they have certain wishes for her boyfriend to do for her, and when her boy friend did it, she became the happiest person. And also we find no bad people in their love story movies. The difficulties they face in their love story are mostly the situations – like cancer, war and family shifted to different places. Also, their love story is like, they are made for each other – and their love is destined. Mostly their love starts at their childhood friendship, then after a long gap, they found again.
Let me come to Hollywood, most of the famous romantic movies are found to be taken from famous novels, therefore without any doubt, their stories are perfect. We could find more reality in Hollywood love stories. It is very difficult to generalize the romantic movies of Hollywood because each movie has uniqueness, at least the movies I have seen. But one thing is there, that is almost common to most of the movies is the last moment courage, the courage to go against his mind and completely loosing on his/her love. It mostly happens when he is about to lose her, or she is about to lose him.
I am not expert in love, maybe I am the dumpiest person in the world in this subject, but after looking these movies, as I am always interested to listen to stories very carefully and attentively, what I found is Love is not that easy thing to do, because in love no logic works. From the movie and stories what I know is, all the lovers are good people and have a very good heart. True love happens to only good people. And also it is not the quick process; there are cases they have to wait for many years without actually falling into a relationship and without any promise. Sometimes they belong to totally different backgrounds and have completely different personalities. And also it is found that love and affection can initiate from anywhere in any place, may happen at a railway station, train, college, workplace, through friends and through social networks like facebook, anywhere. And also it does not depend on the place, some time lovers stay miles away from each other.
Education – few thoughts on how, what and why.. :)
Whenever we debate regarding our society’s problem, we end up with education. We think that education is the key for solving all kinds of problem. But we fail when we come to the procedure of educating all. Our government is trying very hard for many years, but after spending huge amount of money and time, the result is not satisfactory, though they are still working hard. Education is very funny, if we think little deeper on it and its association with the solutions of the problems we are facing now. The irony is the kind of education we are getting also actually takes equal responsibility in causing the problem.
I mean the solution doesn’t lie in mare description of saying providing education to mass. Equal importance should be given to what is being educated also. Education system is the biggest weapon we can use to shape the society – some people call it “weapon of mass instruction”. But the biggest mistaken perception our society has towards education is – it is available only inside the class room of schools, colleges and university campuses. Another wrong perception is thinking getting education is only for getting a job. It is not the mistake of the people; I would say it is the byproduct of the system that is being developed to make the procedure simpler. When I was kid, many of my friends dropped school and didn’t give interest to their study, because they think their parent is not rich enough, they cannot become doctor, engineer and IAS, and therefore what is the use of education. I have friends who said, ‘after completion of master if we do not get job, what is the use of doing that’. At that time, there were many university students who were jobless. In my state still more than 90% (may be more or less) of the population think getting education is only for getting job – mostly in government organization. I don’t mean that is wrong, getting job is one important reason but there are few more things that we are not realizing, may be because of the kind of education we are getting from our schools and universities. It doesn’t mean we have to blame the schools alone; it is time to see education from holistic point of view. Every damn small thing we encountered in our life taught us, and that is also an education. The kind of parents and the family culture we have, the words they used, the moral and value they follow, the kind of locality where we brought up, the kind of friends we have, and the movies and other entertainment mediums and also the festivals and rituals we follow is also an education. But it depends, some people see following wrong thing is the education and some people think avoiding the wrong things after seeing those is education.
I feel our education system should give more importance on the morality and self esteem. And also teaching the students to be themselves and be what they want to be. It is big sin to criticize the student who doesn’t want to become doctor or engineer. And also should punish those teachers who compare one student with others. We born with different face, the same way we born with different interest and that make us different – different skill sets. The actual purpose of education should be like facilitator and moral guide for guiding the student to reach his destination. It is not deciding a fix destination for all and pushing them to walk there, and eliminating those who cannot travel to that path. When morality comes, here comes the responsibility – towards self and society. Our societal value is getting down, the rape and molestation case is rising up, the crime rate is increasing, and people do not trust to each other. This is because of complete failure of the education system. The failure is because we consider only schools and universities are responsible for providing education. The things that should be constant to all are moral and ethics, not the career they choose. When paying above ten lakhs for getting a small post in governmental organization/department becomes culture, the problem is not with the people who are taking money, but the kind of education that taught to the educated youths who think giving bribe is not wrong and it is acceptable.
Love is Blind because the person is crazy….
No. I am not talking about my love story. Today in newspaper I saw an article that tries to prove the most famous saying “love is blind”, it says, when a person falls in love, some kind of hormone (like adrenaline) secrete in his brain, which stops the function of most of the part of brain, which inhibits the decision making ability of the person. Then suddenly I remember the Brain Adam’s song “when you love someone” – in which it says “you will deny the truth and believe the lie” – how true he was. If it is the case, do you think, loves someone a wise decision? Rationally and logically speaking – nobody wants to be blind.
What is the purpose of life? OK, it is a big question; many philosophers already wasted lots of time in thinking and discussing on it. Let me simplify the question, why we work? Why we are after something – may be job, career, lover, Car, recognition, status etc. so desperately? Motivation! Yes motivation, the reason for getting happiness and satisfaction. Does it mean that, inhibiting the function of those parts of the brain is actually a good thing, because that gives us happiness?
But in actual, associating the term “blind” to it is wrong. We need to accept the difference among the people. We grown up in different environment, in different time, and because of that our personality, attitude, behavior and likes & dislikes is different which is decided by thousands of variable factors. (I could form an equation like this P = k (a1,a2,a3,……………………………..an), where P = person, k = constant, a1,a2, …an = variable factors). Variable factors may include family culture, friends circle, society, genes, food etc. Sometime we need to open our mind completely, losing all those learned & installed programmed software, values, beliefs and attitudes to understand the people around me in better way. Last time when I visited my home, I have been roaming around with my friend. Though we grown up together, today our roads are directing in different directions, it was festival season, therefore we had very good time together. We all have different personality, obviously because of different thinking, though now I am a talkative person (as compare to my childhood), but with my old friends, the old me Mr.Llistener was with them. I tried to speak, crack jokes etc. but I was nothing in front of them. From my few friends, I learned about being crazy. BEING CRAZY! You must be thinking what I mean of being crazy.
Being crazy and blind, here is not much distance between these two things, particularly to a person who is truly, madly and deeply falls in love with someone. I have heard the story, my friend told me, he was crazy about a girl, and for her he was ready to do anything. He told me, “Boi (my childhood friend call me with this name), I loved her so much, I was like – I can leave everything for her, I was even ready to pull the rickshaw if I get her”. Suddenly I thought, God! Was he blind because of love, or was he stupid or something, then later I realize, he was actually crazy towards her – LOVE. Going to a completely unknown place, very far from his home crossing the most dangerous place (known for insurgency problem) with a bike in rain just to meet her, say hello to her, is actually very crazy thing he did. Now he is happily married (to another girl, who actually loves him very much) and leading a very happy and successful life. I also see a friend, very simple guy, and met his girl friend; he said he was after her for two years, next year they are going to marry. Some are working, some are doing business, I mean most of my friends are settle and living happy life. This is the place, where I was grown up, and I had to leave it to find the happiness I was looking for, far away from it, still seeking like young guy Santiago seeking for treasure, in The Alchemist. (No. no I am not going to reveal about the treasure I am looking for.)
Don’t think that I am talking about love alone, I am talking about Craziness, which I found explaining through love is easy. We should find something in our life; towards it we should be crazy enough so that we forget everything to get it, to achieve it. And not doubting about doing it and having it. The good thing about the craziness is – we know what we do and we never feel shy of doing it because our destination that we know, many don’t know, is very beautiful. The people we talked about and read about in books have this craziness, Bruce Lee to martial arts, Mahatma Gandhi to Non-violence, John Lenon to his music.
“the time keeper”…………… the book I enjoyed reading
“With endless time, nothing is special. With no lose or sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have”.
This quote is taken from the novel “the time keeper” written by Mitch Albom. As like his other books, this is also about dying and lessons of life from dying. He possesses the arts of turning the scariest part of our life, i.e. death, to an important and beautiful (that I should not say) part. Tuesday’s with Morrie, the five people you meet in Heaven, For One More Day and Have a Little Faith all are related to death, after death and dying men or women. But it is wrong to say that he writes about death. Actually he writes about living, the importance of living and life that usually we forget and which we realize only at the moment of dying. It is the human nature, not giving importance to those things we have, but to those we do not have. It applies in both things and relationship.
This book is about three people, the guy who invented world’s first clock, a teenage girl who is in love but does not get love in return, and a millionaire who is about to die because of his illness. I like the way the author presented the story, he has a unique style.
Dora, the inventor of clock, the guy who first started keeping time in the history of mankind, known as the father of time, was blessed by God, which he thought as punishment. He was kept inside a cave and forced to listen the voice of millions of people who ask for more time in their life. He was never aging, and when he was freed from that cave he found two people, Sarah, a teenage girl and Victor, a business man.
Sarah loves a guy, but that guy doesn’t love her back. Obviously that makes her sad, every human being feel sad in such situation, but the most disturbing thing to her is losing her self esteem. Thinking she is not worthy, she is ugly, fat and not beautiful.
Victor is a rich business man, he is suffering from an illness, and he is about to die soon. But he wants to live forever, he spends lots of money to keep his body alive by freezing his body for many years (cryonic practice), so that when medical science can cure that disease he will live again.
Dora, father of time has been watching their life and the struggle they are facing. He finally took them to the middle of a moment (it is kind of magical moment, where time stops running, you can relate it with some cartoon or science fiction movie where everything stops moving, only the hero can moves). First he takes Shara to her future, she is shown the people who remember her, she never thought of those people and recognize their presence in her life, she also found the guy to whom she used to love and think 24 hours about him, but he don’t even bother to remember her. She found how much her mother loves her, which she used to ignore all the time. She regretted why she tried to kill herself because of one individual who don’t even bother to remember her. I wished if this is possible in real life, I could have shown like this to those people who want to commit suicide, who feels lonely, live in depression and who indulges in some kind of drugs by thinking their life is useless and not love by anybody. And also to those sons and daughters who thought their world is over when somebody rejected their proposal, I want to show them that there are also people in their life who love them more than they love him/her. Most often we forget about the people who love us unconditionally, but we run after those who don’t love us back.
Victor’s case is different. He is very rich and successful, but he doesn’t have more time to live. He wants to challenge the death. He is also taken to his future, and found that how difficult it will be for him, the paper works, the caretaker to whom he paid the money all gone. And what he found is his body crying alone. He found how much his wife loves her, to whom he didn’t even share about his plan of freezing his body, to challenge the death. He remembered how much he used to love her, the shyness he had when he met her first time, the care and love they had while they were young, and he regrets why he didn’t show how much he loves her while he was dying/living.
It was predictable theme from Mitch Albom, i.e. about death, about life and about importance of small things like love, care and relationship in our life. I have not completely narrated the story; the story is a happy ending story. Happy ending doesn’t mean the dying man starts living again. This is the art, and way he convince the people that dying is not enemy to us, it is just a beautiful part of our life, which if it comes at the right time. The importance is not how we die; the importance is how we live. People mostly realize about how they live only when they are going to die.
Have you come across any incident where you need to interact with a guy who is an officer or manager or higher rank than you, and when you enter his/her cabin you give a nice smile, but in response you get an ignorant face, who is not even bothered about your presence there and he is busy with his mobile or laptop?
We can see so many people who think showing attitude of ignorance, ego and dominant behaviour is synonymous to greatness. We Indians (not all) find very difficulty in smiling. Sometime I think people do not smile because they fear if they smile to him/her his status will go down. They think respect is earned with frowning face and dominant behaviour. That is why you can see many managers in your organization, which doesn’t speak and treat well his subordinates. You also can see teachers, lecturers and professors who are very aggressive and especially when you entered his cabin he doesn’t even bother to smile you back, reply your question, use dominant language(without respect) and the body language which shows you are not welcome to his cabin. You may come across the recruiters who doesn’t bother to look at your eyes in spite of you are speaking to him, especially when you are fresher. You may come across the sales man or Dukandar, when you ask him for a help (as like you are bagging by paying money), many a time you may find he is so tired in replying you, he is just keep on chatting with the next guy, he doesn’t even bother you are standing and waiting for his reply. Smile? Don’t even think of it. The funny part is you may come across few customer care executives, when you say “thank you” to him, you can see a kind of indifferent expression on his face. You may come across the words, “your value and status increases when you let others wait for you”. In few organizations you may find your manager/HR is doing nothing in his cabin but he lets the other guy waiting for him in the reception area.
I have been studying this from last many years. Do you know what I found? I found generally those people who show such attitude are the people with less value and quality inside them. This is happened because of their stupidity, but this stupidity cost big thing to our society. It creates a culture, obviously unwanted, which is depend upon the fault prides.
How does it create culture? These small things are passed to the generations, from superior to subordinate and from father to son. At last it becomes a motivational factor, a recognition which drives the people to work hard so that one day he can hold such position which gives him the power to look down others. The same subordinate who is in the side of victim will become a manager one day, that day he will act exactly like his manager, because this is what he learnt from his manager. I have come across friends and seniors who raged his juniors because he was raged by his senior. In order to function it more smoothly few organizations make the difference among the subordinate and superior team more visible by giving different uniform.
What does it leads to? It leads to put up more superiority and inferiority complexes in our society based on the kind of job the people do. Slowly we started giving more importance on the position and the title of the job instead of people’s character, honesty, hard work, integrity and professionalism. It corrupts the human values. Therefore people often consider money versus human values as trade off. Not only this, it also creates different classes among the people inside the same society. Now many people feel awkward in doing some kind of job, feeling if they do this they feel inferior. They feel if they do this, no girls will love him. After all recognition is the only motivation and inspiration of the people. You may argue on me, as much money is the only motivational factor for some people, but my answer would be what they do with much money is the real motivational factor, which shows to people that he is rich. When people work out of compulsion not because of motivation, how can we expect quality and value from his work? When there is more number of unhappy people in our society, how the society will prosper? Classification based on job title affects the attitude of the people living in the society.
However there are many people who understand these values. Otherwise this concept would have extinct from our society. It is like story of two wolves, the good wolf versus the bad wolf, the one which you feed more, grows stronger and that decide who you are. I have seen professor, lecturer and teacher who are very knowledgeable at the same time very good human being. I also have worked with manager or superior who is very knowledgeable with whom some time I discussed such things, most of the time I am the listener. From this what I know is human values like character, honesty, integrity, humbleness etc. is directly proportional to the amount of knowledge, wisdom and quality the person possess
Seriously I want to fall in Love
Life indeed is meaningless without love. Love that motivates, love that inspiress, love that energises mind and body is what I am searching for. I am searching for the love that will bring meaning in each moment of my life. Want to drink the wine of love that makes me forget everything other than my lover. No sorrow, no tensions just love. Let the whole world goes wrong to me when my lover is with me. When everyone stands against me, let my lover be with me for me and so I am.
Living in the world of romance makes my life meaningful, where only happiness exists and sorrows are also considered as happiness. I know everyone of us wants such love but very few people are lucky enough to get such a lover. Luck is what decides by karma they perform the strategy they applied and the hard work they put. Love is blind and I want to be blind for my lover. Love is blind because my lover may not be beautiful to other’s eyes. When people are in love they do not care what others think about them, they love and they are happy in their romance. In the initial phase of their romance, people think they are crazy but they make history and their names never die.
Love is a verb to be done with a noun. Why many people are not successful in their love? There are many reasons. First, they fall in love with many, with no commitment. It is because he falls in love because others tells his/her lover is beautiful, judgment is by others not by himself/herself. Second, fear of falling in love because it needs responsibility. Responsibility requires hard work and pain. Third, lack of patience and persistence. Difficult situations come into life and it has to be faced not to run away from it. Fourth, lack of trust and believes to whom he/she loves. Trust is the most powerful bond but invisible to eye. Without it, nothing can succeed. Fifth is huge investment and expenditure. It requires lots of spending of time, money, sometime friends and dear ones too for the sake of love.
Every moment many new love stories are written. Very few published and known to us. Mother Teresa falls in love with “service to mankind”, which forgets her to return to her own country. And blind her to think what others will think about her when she went and ask for a donation for the diseased children to the people. Love of Bill Gates towards the computer that forces him to go to lab every midnight. There are so many romantic people we read and heard about them. A.R. Rahman and his romance with music, SachinTendulker and his romance with cricket, DhirubhaiAmbani with business, Pele with football, AmitabhBachchan with acting, list is endless.
Some people start falling in love very early and some people very late. It may be because of the hormones due to the pituitary gland that triggers and activate by the environment where they grow up. I really do not care about others, what makes me feel sick is why I do not fall in love yet, a true love that never dies. Please remember the definition of love is not limited to the chemistry between boyfriend & girlfriend, husband & wife. And in the same way, love story is not limited to the story of Romeo & Juliet,Laila&Majnu and Khamba&Thoibi.
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