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By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar

I remember and how I remembered, makes too difference;
As I grow through this phase, I remembered all too,
Knowing much as I could, I am aware all too,
Ask me not a question; and knock me not down;
Wasn’t I a daughter to parents? Totally, yes I was and am;
Wasn’t I a sister to all my brothers and sister? Totally, yes I am is;
Wasn’t I so darling to my parents? Totally, yes to them;
Didn’t I so loving to my sisters? Totally, yes them to me;
Wasn’t I too obedient to my brothers? Totally, yes I was to them;

What am I to them, my parent?  I wonder much,
Much easier to them, I was and am a daughter so loving;
Withering away ties, time and tide, memories only last ever;
Making me carried away far and far away from them;
Institution bounds me too tight, holding by my neck;
Institution bounds them back away from me too, so socially;
Snatching me away from them, ever away, erasing;
Snatching them away from me too, ever dying;
Can’t I go back to my parents? Totally no
I am not seen; I haven’t had a place, so lonely;
Getting a seat to sit on upon:  aren’t that easy
Too strange to say a word, it’s dying now and ever.

‘Nigol’ I am by now, ‘Nigol’ as I am term upon,
I hate being so call upon myself, categorically;
‘Distance’ I fear the most; ‘trust’ I worry about worst;
Leaving me all aloof, a stranger am I, ‘sit’ ‘sit’ here;
No words heard by now; No actions recognize by now,
Too emotional, hurting within the core;
I carry so heavily ‘missing’ each work and each action;
I release forgetting that love and affection, that brother and sister;
Memories as do I carry lots and loosing that all,
Oh! I was and I was here sleeping soundly;
I leave no word, judging all where I belong.

Can’t bear much when they judge ‘Nigols’ within;
Equally as we grow, equally as we tame, I remembered all;
I pray don’t ever Dear Brothers, Who’s best? Who’s richer?
I pray don’t ever Dear Parents, who’s nearer attaché to you?
I pray don’t ever segregate amongst, who’s more and more to all?
Feeling so broken inside, when you judge so darling to so lovely;
Aren’t I a sister to sister? Totally yes to them;
Aren’t I a sister to my brothers? Totally yes to them too;
I hate when you driven me away ‘Nigol’;
I hate when you see me unseen;
Life I bear is summary, daughter, sister and Nigol;
Hate me not when am I a Nigol?

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