Dads and Sons

By: Schindler Potsangbam
Thinking about the topic made me drift, wondering “what is the real power of children in our society?” After a deep thought, I came to the conclusion that it would be ‘future’ – just one word yet very deep – the peaceful and successful future all of us have been dreaming about. Little do we know about these young and energetic minds who are the ones going to save the environment and humanity. The tender and young minds are always curious and if guided on the right path, then they ought to shine. They should be taught about the workings of society and other similar activities apart from their academics. They are the young sun that will gleam bright and they are away from the harsh realities and if only the truth is preached and legitimacy maintained, no doubt they will make you proud. Albert Camus once said and so the youth should say to themselves. “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’ something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” But the question arises ‘How? How can we implement these things?”
The first thing, as a teenager myself, that I would suggest is to encourage and trust them. Make them feel like you are there to listen to their young yet conscious minds. Let them know that you know how hard they are trying and let them open up their vulnerable side and be supportive of the same. Supportive in every good thing they do, don’t just praise them only for the moment, make them feel their importance and establish their trust over you and make them more involved in what you do and also in the social activities. Often parents are tempted to criticise their children. You would expect me to say “don’t.” But I will not, I am merely going to say, and in the words of Dale Carnegie “Before you criticise them, read one of the classics of American journalism. “Father Forgets.” Basically, in that note, the father realises that all this time he was expecting too much of youth, and in his words, he was measuring his son by the yardstick of his own years, and while he was finding faults, he didn’t realise there was so much that was good and fine and true in his son’s character. Think for a while and concentrate on the fact that they belong to a different era and a different generation and they are meant to be cared for and taught in a very different way from the way you were all taught. It’s a known fact. Well, to be honest, have you ever asked your children “How is your mental health and how are dealing with life?”
And if they open up their problems to you then it’s fine, work on it together, but if they don’t then it means they are scared of the feeling that you’ll judge them. It may be because of past experience or just they are not that friendly to you, but it’s definitely a thing you both need to work on. So, the friendly thing works like a dialogue from the sitcom called Modern Family (2009) which goes as “If my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.” It goes with both moms and dads and I know it’s silly but it’s true and parents need to work on this to deal with the kids of the present generation. Last but not the least, this whole writing thing reminds me of truer words that have never been said, “Let them begin where all of us know that they are trying.”
(The writer is a student of Delhi Public School, RK Puram, now studying in class XII) New Delhi)