An Open Letter to Myself

By: Bishwanath Salam
Even Though I am just 15 years old, I know I might not have much to share but I will today. I have always walked with a passion for problem solving, be it anything. Before I offer more, I want all the readers to know that marks do not define you or your intelligence. Most people were once failures as well as me, still failing most of the time. Even Albert Einstein was expelled from school and described as mentally slow but after some years he became a theoretical physicist. And from this we learned that slow doesn’t mean that you are a failure but make sure that you are consistent enough to take it to an incredible ending. I face many problems and struggles day by day.
And I think I can do everything without knowing any perfect knowledge as long as I am not afraid to fail but have the hunger to learn. Problems are never too big, we just over think about them. Let’s accept our past without regret, let’s handle our present with confidence and let’s face our future without fear. When you really pay attention everything is your teacher. Life is like an elevator with lots of ups and downs. Every situation will have something positive. Even a dead clock shows the correct time twice a day.
Even with all the failures, my life was great. I’m glad that everything was great for me. All of the things that I’m currently experiencing are taking me to the next level of my life. I’m growing. I’m getting better than before. I choose to believe in sudden miracles and unexpected blessings. I was worse before but now I’ve regretted it. Every now and then, I keep thinking that I am a kid but when I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore. I feel ashamed that it makes me feel like I’m no one. I then realized that in the long journey of life we may meet many failures but we should not be weakened because success awaits us. It is not disgraceful or shameful to try again till we achieve our goal.
Age doesn’t mean that we are a kid but when we have the ability to think we are not a kid anymore, it’s all in the mindset. So I’m ready to change. I welcome my new energy. It’s time for me to touch it up. I’m investing in myself today. It’s time to touch up everything. I put my energy and time into what makes me happy. There’s nothing more important than prioritizing my mind, body and spirit. When I learn to live by myself, I start to leave behind things that are unhealthy for me. That means people, beliefs and habits. There are people who notice you only when you shine, or when you fall into the darkness. Not the average and not the mediocre you. But the great you, or not-so-great you. The people who are worthy of your care are not those who only notice you at your best and worst but those who see you at all times. They don’t need an excuse to love you. They don’t need an excuse to talk to you, or to ask you how you’re doing. They don’t need an excuse to share their happiness with you. They don’t need an explanation. They give you one without you asking for it. They assume the good in the bad. So keep your eyes open just so you don’t miss those people.
Once you find them, never let them go because those are not just friends but family members. They’re life companions. They are the people who will tell you when you are wrong simply because they’ve allowed themselves to tie their well-being to yours. Memories are always special. Sometimes we laugh by remembering the day we cried, and we cry by remembering the day we laugh. Smiles and silence are two powerful tools. Smile is the way to solve any problems whereas silence is the way to avoid many problems. I stop explaining myself when I understand people only from their level of perception. I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am.
You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness of others’ pain and my passion for it all. I’m exhausted from being strong, helping people, pretending to be happy, everything hurts. I constantly feel sick, and I don’t know how I’ll get out of it. I guess it takes time, but how long do I have?
(The writer is a Class 9 Student of Emmanuel English Academy, Yaingangpokpi, Imphal East)