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By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi

Independent Scholar

I wish and as I wished;

Growing up and again, I grow bigger and larger;

Knowing nothing left, time flies too fast;

I ran and ran after, aimlessly; nobody cares,

Nothing bothers obstacles! I dare to cut through;

Stretching and extending, increasing and spreading;

Reaching and giving, gaining and attaining;

Earning and approaching, capturing and occupying;

Lifting and invading, wining and securing;

Persuading and convincing; causing and leading;

Wild and strong, I see things without fear;

Chasten and plain, I see love and beauties;

I fall and as I fall, I enjoy holdings on to,

Holdings as much as I could, clench and grasping;

Too uncultured and maidenly, living is too innocent;

I never knew its vast faultiness.


Days! Gone by repeating, I never dare remembered too;

Month after month; how seasonal it was?

Year by year; too easy to calculate, changing spree;

Doing no work, lying so easily, living and breathing;

I gave no attention to, no grooming, no priority,

No brushing and no sharpening, too blunt it was;

Uneasy I carry forward; I wish I had an alarm clock;

Waking me up my faultiness, dull and dirty;

Wondering through effortlessly, I unnoticed those blending;

Growing wildly, winding and twisting,

Turning and exiting, revolving and performing;

Executing and administering, attaining and acquiring;

Folding within desires and fancies, much and needs;

No realizing those sequences, I breathe celebrating.


‘Wake up! Enough wasting your time sleeping;

Eating and drinking! Get up, go and work something;

Who’ll help you for living? Who’ll lift you more?

Do something! Earn for living! Enough of learning!

You’re enough grown up now! Use your strength!

Go work; help us; who’ll provide your food; struggle for living!

We’re old now; weak and our strength are doom down falling;

No enough money available now! Shouted my father’,

Triggering within my hearing, it hits harder and louder;

Shaken and anguish, painful inside deep within;

I feel angry distress and heartache; why shouldn’t I?

Feeling as though, haven’t they cut off my cord?

All of sudden, all of motionless when I isn’t ready?


Bad and acutely, I feel tearing apart from homely;

Blaming wholly for this ‘relation’ I treasured?

Am I too late to cut off fillings I possessed?

Slowly and steadily, I let those loosely go;

Detaching ‘me’ from ‘them’ far and widely I untie;

Unseeing distance I went far; trying to flap and fly;

Down and again it falls, unbalancing and trampling;

My hands are free; my feet busy on standing footsteps;

This humanly tidal; carrying ‘me’ away in the nowhere middle;

Loosing and letting go twisting off me easy; I say

‘I can’t see you, father? My hands up in the middle;

Still I’m holding ‘relation’ father, threading invisible.


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