By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar
I wish and as I wished;
Growing up and again, I grow bigger and larger;
Knowing nothing left, time flies too fast;
I ran and ran after, aimlessly; nobody cares,
Nothing bothers obstacles! I dare to cut through;
Stretching and extending, increasing and spreading;
Reaching and giving, gaining and attaining;
Earning and approaching, capturing and occupying;
Lifting and invading, wining and securing;
Persuading and convincing; causing and leading;
Wild and strong, I see things without fear;
Chasten and plain, I see love and beauties;
I fall and as I fall, I enjoy holdings on to,
Holdings as much as I could, clench and grasping;
Too uncultured and maidenly, living is too innocent;
I never knew its vast faultiness.
Days! Gone by repeating, I never dare remembered too;
Month after month; how seasonal it was?
Year by year; too easy to calculate, changing spree;
Doing no work, lying so easily, living and breathing;
I gave no attention to, no grooming, no priority,
No brushing and no sharpening, too blunt it was;
Uneasy I carry forward; I wish I had an alarm clock;
Waking me up my faultiness, dull and dirty;
Wondering through effortlessly, I unnoticed those blending;
Growing wildly, winding and twisting,
Turning and exiting, revolving and performing;
Executing and administering, attaining and acquiring;
Folding within desires and fancies, much and needs;
No realizing those sequences, I breathe celebrating.
‘Wake up! Enough wasting your time sleeping;
Eating and drinking! Get up, go and work something;
Who’ll help you for living? Who’ll lift you more?
Do something! Earn for living! Enough of learning!
You’re enough grown up now! Use your strength!
Go work; help us; who’ll provide your food; struggle for living!
We’re old now; weak and our strength are doom down falling;
No enough money available now! Shouted my father’,
Triggering within my hearing, it hits harder and louder;
Shaken and anguish, painful inside deep within;
I feel angry distress and heartache; why shouldn’t I?
Feeling as though, haven’t they cut off my cord?
All of sudden, all of motionless when I isn’t ready?
Bad and acutely, I feel tearing apart from homely;
Blaming wholly for this ‘relation’ I treasured?
Am I too late to cut off fillings I possessed?
Slowly and steadily, I let those loosely go;
Detaching ‘me’ from ‘them’ far and widely I untie;
Unseeing distance I went far; trying to flap and fly;
Down and again it falls, unbalancing and trampling;
My hands are free; my feet busy on standing footsteps;
This humanly tidal; carrying ‘me’ away in the nowhere middle;
Loosing and letting go twisting off me easy; I say
‘I can’t see you, father? My hands up in the middle;
Still I’m holding ‘relation’ father, threading invisible.
