By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar
I knew not I am a sinner,
I knew not I would be unwanted;
‘She’ likes me not, I knew not earlier;
I thought not a single piece of caring self,
Thought living would be same as before;
Thought ‘her’ a mother, a woman;
I was wrong and I was just alone;
‘She’ knew ‘she’ would be handling ‘me’;
‘She knew ‘she’ would be controlling me;
No doubt ‘m a fighter but ‘m not a sinner;
‘She’s delighted when ‘she’ raised her voice,
‘She’s at her best when ‘she’ shows her stunning faces;
Alas! If I knew ‘her’ instincts,
Better would be my part, acting.
I wondered how ‘she’ so exciting;
‘What are you doing in the room? She blundered,
Whisked away then and again;
Flapping here and there, murmuring,
Should I show angriness? I knew not;
Should I responsive to her? I doubts so lazily,
‘She’s at her mastermind exaggerating;
Bitter I feel, softer I step my footsteps;
Dumb as a donkey, I walk and stand hither and thither;
‘ts all easy when I watched her back every minute;
It’s all satisfying seeing ‘me’ dirty in my hands;
Living is all smooth noticing ‘me’ away alone,
She’s all settle knowing ‘she’ zipped my emotions,
If I were better tackling, she would have battling ‘me’.
I knew not I am a sinner,
I knew not I would be unwanted;
‘She’s shadowing after, no matter her time and age;
Knowing well her tactics,
I rather enjoyed mismatching ‘her’;
Oh! What a waste of her energy,
‘She’ shouts and ‘she’ hates too much;
Calmness as I carry and all I do care,
As ‘She’ stared and stared at her corner;
Walking through her angles I enjoy now and again;
‘Yes’ ‘Yes’ I will I will;
Habituating enough through her tunes;
Praying enough what should be the next?
Preying enough I’m a doll of her moving fingers.
Still ‘She’s active barking and sniffing;
Whisked away then and again;
Flapping here and there, murmuring,
Oh! What a cozy hour she’s been to;
Time passed I wasn’t a sinner, she knew;
She’s so excited when I ask;
And she listened when I speak words;
Prayer after prayer, tears holding inside,
Heavy heartening I never carry upon;
Praising and consoling ‘her’ emotions,
Never miss ‘her’ calling ‘mother’;
She’s all when I miss, mother –in-law;
A ‘Mother’ she would deserve most.