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Letting go

By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar

One a rupee, two a rupee;
Worth Counting by all every single morning;
Dreaming upon stepping the wide opening jaws of existence;
I dream of personage,
I dream of actuality,
Curtaining the same old dark green clothing;
Wallowing Walking down this narrow lane!
Making me too dutiful every day attending,
Up and down, down and up,
Sliding hastily, bagging books heavily;
Dreaming the line worth wild is unique;
Study and study, the fashion I indulge in without fail;
Still, how weak I am? Jumbling and confusing,
The chapters within, the materials’ suggestion;
Helping self reading through off-track puzzling;
Alas! If only I have attended tutorial,
Alas! How easy would be, if I have own a tutor;
All’s well with struggling, all’s well with aspiring;
All’s well with just letting go.

One a rupee, two a rupee;
Worth Counting by all every single morning;
Dreaming upon stepping the wide opening jaws of existence;
I dream of personage, hardship and well content;
Never try giving up, still paddling amongst;
I wanna go, I wanna see, I wanna have wings;
Exhaustion! I forget either way,
Feeling out arms stretching helpless empty;
Wandering! Searching and pleading;
Dreams capture me within; too many
Hear me! Hear me saying,
Speaking thousands thinking, losing all in the air;
Let me say, father! I beg
No! Never did they listen;
All’s well with goodness, all’s well with morality;
All’s great with principle;
And all’s well with just letting go.

One a rupee, two a rupee;
Worth Counting by all every single morning;
Dreaming upon stepping the wide opening jaws of existence;
I dream of personage, seeking I should be!
Trying figuring out how should I be?
Chasing every want, fancy to capture ever little;
Chances comes and scatters, never try holding one,
Reasoning how rational it is?
Opportunities flashes off too soon,
Self Hesitating and nervously, relying upon still;
Relying again and out, time is still young;
Bargaining within consciousness, shall I and shall I not?
Ah! I lost it, lost every slot
Help me father! Help me mother!
Pay money for my rank! Go buy for my knowledge,
It’s too much hurting inside;
How difficult I grasp this opportunity?
Easily it goes away;
I wish, I wish I have a plenty to pay! Consoling
All’s well with just letting go.

Sita

By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar

Wonder she was the daughter of the earth goddess!
Wonder she was the adopted daughter of King Janaka!
Wonder she was the consort of Lord Rama!
Wonder she was an avatar of Sri Lakshmi!
Wonder she was the paragon of spousal and feminine virtues!
Wonder she was the goddess denoting good sign, good fortune,
Prosperity, success and happiness!
Wonder she was the was the elder sister of Urmila and
Cousin’s sister of Mandavi and Shrutakirti!
Wonder she was known for her dedication, self-sacrifice, courage and purity!
Wonder she was abducted by Ravana!

Wonder she was not burnt undergoing a trial by fire to prove her chastity!
Wonder she was not accepted by her people for long captivity!
Wonder she was forced into exile during her pregnancy!
Wonder she delivered twin sons, raised them as single mother!
Wonder she witnessed the acceptance of her children by Rama!
Wonder she plea for release from an unjust world a life!
Wonder she finally sought refuge in the arms of her mother!
Oh! What a life that took away
Oh! She still is a fertility, abundance and well beings
Wonder she was an ideal daughter, an ideal wife and an ideal mother.

Wonder how cruel the mankind!
Wonder how many more Sitas’ born and abandon!
Wonder how many dutiful fathers will adopt ‘her’!
Wonder how many royal ‘man’ be her willing ‘consort’!
Wonder who she becomes!
Wonder how she represents to this life living!
Wonder she is more of de-feminity and bad fortune!
Wonder how many brothers and sisters she being the eldest!
Chaoba, tomba, thoiba , thoibi, leima,
Wonder how courageous she breathes speechless!
Wonder she is besieging by her own man, own father!
Wonder she is thrown away in grasses and in the river water!

Oh! Breath less soul
Oh! Little goddess of virtues,
How courageous and purity you comes into form?
Cold and dark, so innocently soft unaccepted;
Wonder you being not royal being, hated and unwanted!
Wonder you prove wrongly of pure ‘love’!
Wonder you’re denied by ‘her’, your birth mother!
Wonder you’re ‘Sita’ Sita of Sitas’!
Wonder how many more of you will be dumping!
Thrown dumping in canal waters, river waters, river banks
Layering with your thin muslin birth clothes;
Tangling and twisting thy string of cord!
Releasing from this unjust world of lei!

Reality of the real fact nobody wants to tell the naked truth.

Dear respected and honorable PM Narendra Modi, Manipur CM Biren Singh, Tamenglong district segment MLA Samuel Jendai, MLA Awangbou Newmai, MLA Gaikhangngam Gangmei, Tamenglong DC Armstrong Pame, Tamenglong District Council CEO Dipu Gangmei, Commissioner TD Manipur Thaithuilung Pamei, Chairman ADC Tamenglong Namsinrei Panmei, ZSU and ZYF.
Today I would like to share some of my experiences and doubts of Tamenglong district (included Noney district) of Manipur, India. Things are taking place but none of us may be serious about the happenings. It may also that we may not be able to get or have any data on these happenings which I am going to share with you all and I believe, these
happenings are also neither legal or neither they are being legalize by any legal authority for not to do the work properly.
1. In the whole of Tamenglong district I have not come across not even 4 government schools which are properly functioning without any substitute teachers or having sufficient students and proper school buildings, etc.
2. Where are the government schools today in Tamenglong district in reality? How many of the government schools’ teachers in Tamenglong district know or seen where the school they being posted? Or have they ever gone and seen the schools and students where they are being posted as teachers or headmasters for teaching? Or have they given for substitution to someone else?
3. In the whole of Tamenglong district not an Anganwadi Center in the villages or in the town are seen functioning as per the center should run or function.
4. Is there a single properly function or properly equipped Hospital or CHC or PHC or SPHC with all the posted Doctors and Nurses stationed without keeping any substitutions in Tamenglong district. I have seen or find not one in the whole of Tamenglong district.
5. In the whole of Tamenglong district apart from NH-37 I have not seen nor I have travel on any road even with 5 kilometers properly black topped (concrete).
6. Is the Central Government of India and Government of Manipur pay bills and salaries according to the paper reports that were or are being received from the concern departments and not seeing to the actual ground reality of works which are done or not done before any payment are being done?
7. Have the Central Government of India and Government of Manipur not allotted and not given sufficient money for the public developmental work for Tamenglong district?
8. If the Central Government of India and Government of Manipur have allotted and given sufficient money for the public developmental work for Tamenglong district. Than where are the money gone? Where and how are the works done for the amount of money allotted and given for the work?
9. Is it that the Government departments have instructed the staffs, employees, contractors and public leaders not to do a proper work and not to evaluate the work in Tamenglong district and that the district should remain so call backward and the people’s moral should be hold down?
10. Can the Central Government of India and Government of Manipur start taking up the task of investigation, proper evaluation of the works done and fact finding task team with action force with regard to the past and present work done in the whole of Tamenglong district. And if anybody is found to be guilty than start booking them for every single legal action to be taken on them regardless of what position or office in the past or at present is holding or in what department it was or it is.
11. I believe that all the money that the Central Government of India and Government of Manipur is giving out for the public to have sustainable development and progress of the people in Manipur is of people’s money. Therefore, every one of us has the full constitutional and personal right to enjoy the fruit of the work done and not to be deprived of it.
12. If I have said, which are not true, than please tell me so that I can also believe what I have not believe and can stop my doubt too. And if these, which I have shared are true than reach this sharing to the above mention important and power holding persons for the benefit and for the sustainable development, progress and transformation of
Tamenglong and Noney districts.

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A promise

By : Dr Nunglekpam Premi
Devi Independent Scholar

Paint your face! Paint in black!
Paint with charcoal! Leave your face dirty!
Men are animals! Men will never change! Exclaimed my father
I never realized? I got angry by his utterance;
What wrong have I been into?
I walked tall Carrying Millions of questions to self!
Never did dare to welcome my early young days?
Or never did dare to salute my adolescence period?
And I never did dare to flaunt my puberty life?
All I did was a dumb lazy sluggish mower;
He’s happy when I ‘m idle;
He’s happy when I’m listless;
My Courage never did help finding an answer to this.


Paint your face! Paint in black!
Paint with charcoal! Leave your face dirty!
Men are animals! Men will never change! Exclaimed my father
He did loved cutting and trimming my hairs;
Every single month’s Sunday was his day!
Come! I need to cut your hair,
It’s growing long! My father Roar repeatedly
I threw up crying; never had guts to say a word
Never had a chance to protest;
My hair too short, my speechless hair so active;
Nothing was sure and certain,
Oh! My ugly hair, reasoning thousand finding a way to save
But, I swing around with crazy boy cut hair;
Never did I pose my long silky hairs.

Paint your face! Paint in black!
Paint with charcoal! Leave your face dirty!
Men are animals! Men will never change! Exclaimed my father
Wondering how? Why? And what for I had to paint?
He never opens or unfurls his exclaiming!
‘It was an untold story my mother did tell?
All she does is cool and quite; and she’s happy too,
I walked tall with my short boy cut hair;
Feeling plain looking, dull and unattractive;
I own not a lipstick for my lips to color red;
I own not a pencil to color my eyes brows dark;
I own not a compact to powder my face white;
Wearing boy shirt and skirt,
I pounder exciting and unknowingly the ugly truth forepart;
Never did I neglect Swimming dutifully across my youth life.

Shadowy Lies

By : Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi

Independent Scholar

Wide opening eyes; thou yell on me
Wide opening mouth; thou call upon me
Wide opening arms; thou clutch upon me
I know not!
What’
s losing thou fancy?
One step up; one step down
One step below; one step forward
Never missing one single step, you being me
I wonder suspicion, I beg no mercy!
Ditching me alone, when ‘m alone
When ‘m sedentary; when ‘m still and inactive
I wonder
, again and again!
Holding me, in and out; out and again
Appearing and departing physique;
Doubting thousand self belongings,
Vanishing of
f; soon and never attend
When ‘m stood and perch.
Wide opening eyes; thou yell on me
Wide opening mouth; thou call upon me
Wide opening arms; thou clutch upon me
Attending me, with no mercy
I wonder again; annoying and hating -
Thou urging and longing zeal!
Hankering and carving around me;
With no purpose, thou following me
One step front; one step down
One step in; one step backward
Tired Resolving and fixing thou existence;
Leaving me with no option, quitting you shadowy spirit
Standing taller and huge, worrying me in the darkness;
I ‘m afraid again and again; thou ghostly wraith
Moving in and out, swinging front and back;
When ’m accompanying.
Wide opening eyes; thou yell on me
Wide opening mouth; thou call upon me
Wide opening arms; thou clutch upon me
Freshening eyes and freshening self-ego,
Enthralling and alluring, capturing and attracting;
Securing the morning dew upon thy leaves;
Lone I walk self-confidently; I prey upon self -worth solitarily
Where‘re thy sole? Where’re thy amours proper?
I wonder time and again;
What deed thou act upon gesture?
Seeking thy presence, alive and being me;
You’re soft, non-existence plea;
 Appear and attend me;
Chase me and issue me troubles;
No matter what ensue? Precede me
When ‘m escorting.
Wide opening eyes; thou yell on me
Wide opening mouth; thou call upon me
Wide opening arms; thou clutch upon me
I wonder time and again;
What deed thou act upon gesture?
You’re fiery and fierce, wicked and wrongful;
So foul playing and too corrupting
Towering and titanic,
When thou small self-imaginary;
You’re different and arguing;
Straight and little thy concealing
When in thou colossal still

Letter to editor

Dear sir,
Its good and appreciating to see the present Government of Manipur taking up initiatives with different approaches to bring changes in our trouble torn state and also taking steps to bridge the gap between the hill and valley people. So taking this platform, as a concerned youth I would like to draw the kind attention of the present Government to frame or include special policies or programmes to control drugs menace of our state. The very fact is, our present society is infested with drugs abuse especially among the young and dynamic youths. They are indulged with drugs in every corner of our state leading to a doomsday of their future. Our state being corridor to Myanmar and also proximity to the golden triangle, there are high trafficking of drugs and also other contraband substances into our state which destroys many precious lives and the outcome is malignant which also gives a drastic impact on the socio-economic condition of our people. The uses of drugs among the youths are in rapid growth day by day and its a serious issue of our state. Uses of drugs is also one factor for spreading communicable diseases in our state and it has become rampant in our state.So, it’s a high time to control this drug menace of our state before its too late.
Lastly, I would also like to request the NGOs, civil society organisations, voluntary organisations, philanthropists etc.to intervene in this drug menace which is infested and plagued in our beautiful state  Manipur. Anticipating for positive outcome.
Yours faithfully,
Gofort Langhu,
Former President,
Anal Students’ Union, Imphal.

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School life

By- Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar, Kolkata

I know not, nothing strange;
I feel not, nothing a new;
I bother not, nothing of ages;
I gather not, nothing of value;
I hesitate not, nothing worse to wear;
I built not, nothing about future;
I construct not, nothing about career;
I design not, nothing about life;
I carve nothing, nothing about achievement;
‘m just a warrior, warrior of my school days;
‘m just an architect, architecture of my life;
As easy as I were, drawing few steps
Enthralled by those witchy books, fascinating!

I make not, nothing special of the day;
I ride not, nothing new of my walk;
I carry not, nothing heavy else of my bag load;
I drive not, nothing lighter of my feet;
I climb not, nothing better of my jump;
I speed not, nothing faster of on paddy bund;
I delighted not, nothing worrier on rainy day;
‘m crazier not, nothing more of my rubber shoes;
‘m just a warrior, warrior of my school days;
‘m just an architect, architecture of my life;
As easy as I were, drawing few steps
Enthralled by those witchy books, fascinating!

I reach not, nothing likely than less travel road;
I wave not, nothing heavier my feet underwater;
I perceive not, nothing more of my periods;
I apprehend not, nothing worst thunder and lightning;
I understand not, nothing more of my short round skirt;
I heed not, nothing carefully of my small meal;
I obey not, nothing sincere of my mother’s nature;
‘m just a warrior, warrior of my school days;
‘m just an architect, architecture of my life;
As easy as I were, drawing few steps
Enthralled by those witchy books, fascinating!

I behold not, nothing more of my brother;
I survey not, nothing important of my brother’s act;
I agree not, nothing else of my quietness;
I study not, nothing more of other friends’ attitudes;
I considered not, nothing only myself;
I witness not, nothing of beatings;
I have no proof, nothing of my innocents;
I spot not, nothing closer of my same position;
‘m just a warrior, warrior of my school days;
‘m just an architect, architecture of my life;
As easy as I were, drawing few steps
Enthralled by those witchy books, fascinating!

The solace of phanek

By : Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi

I know not what I am up to;
As I remember and remember
I was helping her, my mother;
She was as good as she did;
She utters no words of tiredness;
No signs of worries and pains;
She is soft, soften at her heart;
She’s smooth by her skin;
She adores her long swaging hairs;
Her vibrant calmness, as she adores
Are her strength; I watch her all along
As I help her weaving loom, weaving phanek;
It makes no sense when I weave;
It means a lot, lot many senses when in use;

I know not what I am up to;
As I remember and remember
She’s thin and tall; my mother
Her snowy complexion is all that she wears;
She sleeps soundly, late after everyone sleeps
She gets up early, early before dawn
She speaks no language; she speaks no actions;
She’s quite as a golden leaf;
She sings her senses with the rhythm; that
Rhythmic rhythm of her tools tek-ta, tok-ta, tek-ta, tok-ta
She afraid no souls; she afraid no evils;
Her vibrant calmness, as she adores
Are her strength; I watch her all along
As I help her weaving loom, weaving phanek;
It makes no sense when I weave;
It means a lot, lot many senses when in use;

I know not what I am up to;
As I remember and remember; my mother
Her attic as I remember, full with cotton rolls;
She waves no help; as she rose every dawn
She’s good as I weave and she speaks louder;
She keeps spinning as I weave; spinning and spinning
She’s delighted, she’s happy along the rhythm;
As I sings my senses with the rhythm; that
Rhythmic rhythm of my tools tek –ta, tok-ta; tek-ta, tok-ta
She reclaims my weaving; weaving phanek
She adores me, phanek; as I weave
I afraid no beings, I afraid no spirits
Her calmness as I recollect is my strength;
Her softness is my attire;
This silhouette memoir of mine; as I weave
As I help her weaving loom, weaving phanek;
It makes no sense when I weave;
It means a lot, lot many senses when in use;

Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi is an Associate Research, School of Women’s Studies, Faculty Council of Interdisciplinary Studies, Law and Management Jadavpur University, Kolkata

The Step- Mother

By- Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi

She seems beautiful and active;
She seems to wears her best clothes;
She seems to adore enchanting smiles;
She seems to have a good heart;
She seems to capture everyone at her centre;
She seems to have her final words to each
And every one on her good tone notes;
She seems to please me and all;
She seems to be the best mother I ever have;
She seems to a cool being; but
She is too uncertain and slick.

She talks sweet and lustrous;
She invites brilliantly;
She accomplishes her mission well superb;
She’s brightly artful and she polishes differently
She’s talented; she is capable-
Capable to apt metaphors promptly;
She’s punctual;
She’s quintessential;
She’s skillful and very professional-
Her masterly home-making; I ever have
She seems to a cool being; but
She is too uncertain and slick

She’s bounded with techniques;
She’s reverberating; and her words repeating
She tries and tries; she never gives up tough
Her peal of my absences; her peal of my duties
Echoing all day throughout; reverberating through my veins
I ever feel haunted in my territory; my home
Her reign; her tempting
She seems captivating; her alluring innocence
Her suppression; her concealments to her evil-doing
I am never a being; I bear no identity
She seems to a cool being; but
She is too uncertain and slick

She seems motherly;
She knew seemingly and she professedly reacts;
Her moves stirring, her evidences overwhelming;
Her affectionate ego is proving thousands and millions;
She bravely attacks; I ever submerged damages
She knew no boundary; she knew not her category;
But she seems strikingly mother; mother of agitation
She lies undisturbed; she hides her distress
She hides all her hates;
All her ache mellow; her carving to her tormenting life
She’s plague;
She’s cursed;
She make-up her desolate gloomy soul;
She still sings of melancholy; All I ever experienced
And all I ever have unconditionally; step-mother
She seems to a cool being; but
She is too uncertain and slick
 
Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Associate Research
School of Women’s Studies
Faculty Council of Interdisciplinary Studies, Law and Management
Jadavpur University, Kolkata
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