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Satisfaction

By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar

Little is known, still feeling’s so huge;
Living through this, life’s an immense pleasure;
Nothing’s barring, still going great although,
It’s just a way ‘feeling’ through, when it’s good;
Sailing across thousands conflicts, and breathing alive;
Tried not to mingle with those, I feel best moody;
Thought, better staying aloof and away far from,
Feeling’s just a compromise as I always do;
Working late night; I thought stepping one pace ahead;
But never Do I, I feel dizzy and sleepy
And missing all day moments, unattended!
Rushing and dashing and hurriedly I recall;
Days shorter and I blink eyes through nights;
I switch getting up earliest, world so silent cold;
Pulling myself back yarning, I do feel napping short awhile;
Satisfaction! A way I believe searching though.

Funny and funny things happening a lot;
Every single desire so irritating;
Food and clothing and decorative and luxurious;  
‘I want it more’ and ‘I want it now’
Sounds irrelevant; making me hard to cooperate,
Doesn’t seem so nice to me, when he’s aggressive;
I look forward searching, should I have to?

Never try understanding, how I may carry up situational?
Why should he do that? I ask thousand times,
Making me work burden, making me irresponsible;
‘Now’ or ‘never’, I hate those options,
And ‘Now’ a suicide, time all matters, I can’t stand;
Seeing with his eyes limitless, more and more;
‘Buy me this’ ‘Buy me that’ money scatters aren’t leaves;
New! New is all that matters, changing a living,
Satisfaction! A way finding never fulfill.

Shouting and lecturing, a way tool I use;
Ugly I become; angry I lose every understanding;
Forgetting all love near and far ones, I become so possess;
Pulling myself to nowhere, far beyond those discomforts;
Tens and twenties I thought punishing self, control fasting,
Shall I or Shall I not? A word he utters would suffice;
Anger and violence so wild; I stand protecting first,
Ease your pains and lose your ‘fancy’ desires, I wish hard;
Isn’t that so reasoning? Teaching ‘him’ best simple and low living;
No rules broken; living a consideration mercy;
‘Angry me not’, discard ‘now and new’ forever;
‘Slapping and kicking’ a compromise made between;
Time! Can’t calculate how much still there,
Live ‘me’ within; tomorrow’s just an illusion,
Satisfaction! Isn’t a means, isn’t holding truth.

William Gurumayum

William Gurumayum, Sub-Editor of Imphal Times is a resident of Sagolband Salam Leikai. He has been with Imphal Times since beginning. He also looks after the website and application of Imphal Times. An avid adventure lover, writes mostly travelogue.

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