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Satisfaction

By- Dr Nunglekpam Premi Devi
Independent Scholar

Little is known, still feeling’s so huge;
Living through this, life’s an immense pleasure;
Nothing’s barring, still going great although,
It’s just a way ‘feeling’ through, when it’s good;
Sailing across thousands conflicts, and breathing alive;
Tried not to mingle with those, I feel best moody;
Thought, better staying aloof and away far from,
Feeling’s just a compromise as I always do;
Working late night; I thought stepping one pace ahead;
But never Do I, I feel dizzy and sleepy
And missing all day moments, unattended!
Rushing and dashing and hurriedly I recall;
Days shorter and I blink eyes through nights;
I switch getting up earliest, world so silent cold;
Pulling myself back yarning, I do feel napping short awhile;
Satisfaction! A way I believe searching though.

Funny and funny things happening a lot;
Every single desire so irritating;
Food and clothing and decorative and luxurious;  
‘I want it more’ and ‘I want it now’
Sounds irrelevant; making me hard to cooperate,
Doesn’t seem so nice to me, when he’s aggressive;
I look forward searching, should I have to?

Never try understanding, how I may carry up situational?
Why should he do that? I ask thousand times,
Making me work burden, making me irresponsible;
‘Now’ or ‘never’, I hate those options,
And ‘Now’ a suicide, time all matters, I can’t stand;
Seeing with his eyes limitless, more and more;
‘Buy me this’ ‘Buy me that’ money scatters aren’t leaves;
New! New is all that matters, changing a living,
Satisfaction! A way finding never fulfill.

Shouting and lecturing, a way tool I use;
Ugly I become; angry I lose every understanding;
Forgetting all love near and far ones, I become so possess;
Pulling myself to nowhere, far beyond those discomforts;
Tens and twenties I thought punishing self, control fasting,
Shall I or Shall I not? A word he utters would suffice;
Anger and violence so wild; I stand protecting first,
Ease your pains and lose your ‘fancy’ desires, I wish hard;
Isn’t that so reasoning? Teaching ‘him’ best simple and low living;
No rules broken; living a consideration mercy;
‘Angry me not’, discard ‘now and new’ forever;
‘Slapping and kicking’ a compromise made between;
Time! Can’t calculate how much still there,
Live ‘me’ within; tomorrow’s just an illusion,
Satisfaction! Isn’t a means, isn’t holding truth.

William Gurumayum

William Gurumayum, Sub-Editor of Imphal Times is a resident of Sagolband Salam Leikai. He has been with Imphal Times since beginning. A avid adventure lover, writes mostly travelogue.

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